


I'm a Person!

by Randstrom



Series: Graduation Stories [2]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Graduation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 06:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randstrom/pseuds/Randstrom
Summary: Yuri needs a ride to and from her graduation ceremony. She calls Monika for help and some conversations ensue.





	I'm a Person!

**Author's Note:**

> So this DDLC timeline takes place in a fictional country called Pacifica— a unique fusion of eastern and western culture— to account for the "Pseudo-Japan" setting of the game world. They have a three-year high school system like Japan, but the graduation ceremony and tkem of year is a bit more western.
> 
> This timeline includes DDHFC, Fault, and a couple others, but this story stands alright on its own.

My GPS app chimes as I pull into the drive of Yuri's home, somewhat disappointed at the lack of grandeur. 

_ From what Natsuki described you'd think it was a damn mansion. _

The outside of the house is very well maintained, with freshly mulched gardens and neatly trimmed trees, but it seems to be average size for a three bedroom.

As my car rolls to a stop, the side door of the house swings open, and my tall friend steps out into the car port, adorned in her cap and gown. The shade of maroon from our school's colors clashes with the purple hue of her hair, but she looks alright otherwise. After locking the door behind her, she turns to wave to me, dropping the water bottle she was holding in the process. I can hear her cursing to herself as she crouches down to retrieve it from beneath a black sedan. 

_ That's strange; why did she need a ride if someone with a car is around? _

The click of the door handle snaps me away from my musings, and Yuri sits down beside me.

"H-hi Moni. Thanks for picking me up. I-I'm really sorry to be asking this of you."

"No problem, we can't have you walking 2km to the bus stop in your graduation gown on a day this hot. But what did I say about apologizing all the time?" I scold facetiously. The humor goes over her head at first, and she nearly apologizes for apologizing before I poke her with a smirk. She tries to return the smile but I can tell she's a nervous wreck right now. She has some serious anxiety about crowds and social situations, and the bags beneath her eyes tell me that she barely slept last night.

Softly, I place my hand on hers. "Hey, It's gonna be alright. You don't really have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. Just sit in your chair until you get called up to accept your diploma. Then we can leave, and like, get some ice cream or something."

In reality I'm taking her to a surprise party at our friend's house afterwards, but I can't give that away yet.

She nods silently. Yuri's not very talkative, especially when she's anxious, so I continue the conversation.

"So… it's too bad your parents couldn't make it. Are they... out of town?"

She tenses up at the question, turning away to look out the window.

_ Oof, I think I hit a sore spot... _

"Th-they're here… just… n-not coming."

_ What? That's awful. _

From what I've gathered about Yuri's parents, they're somewhat aloof and hands-off, with the exceptions of academics and housework, where they are rewarding of good results and harshly critical of mediocrity. You'd think this would be one of the few occasions that they'd celebrate and praise her, considering her graduating rank of second in her year.

I probably shouldn't probe any further but my curiosity is getting the better of me.

"That's surprising. Is there a reason?"

Yuri hesitates for several seconds.

"They think that I p-purposefully made mistakes on my finals to get out of being v-valedictorian, and having to make the speech at graduation. I think they still would have come, b-but I talked back while they were yelling at me about it and…" Her voice trails off.

"Jesus. I'm sorry Yuri, that's awful. A huge dick-move on their part. They should be proud of you." Yuri twirls her hair in her fingers, but doesn't say anything. 

"I'm proud of you, and so is everyone else in the club," I conclude. 

Yuri smiles back at me, a little more genuinely this time. Maybe I'm being a little too quick to judge her parents; they've been allowing her to cook dinner for Natsuki, no questions asked, for months now. _ Still, though, they should be coming to cheer her on today... _

_ Whatever. Let's change the subject. _

"So are you excited to be done with school?" I ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I-I guess," she replies with little confidence. "I'm going to uni straight away, s-so I'll still have to go to classes and do homework and such. And, pre-law isn't the field of study I would've chosen for myself... but I sh-shouldn't complain. My parents are paying for everything, so I won't have to accrue any student debt."

_ Hmmm… I don't know how to feel about that. I should be encouraging though. _

"I think there'll be more differences than you expect. My big sister says it's not as self-contained as high school. Like… people aren't forced to be up in each other's business and interact as much, so there's not much bullying or anything like that. I think you'll like it." 

"Th-that does sound nice…" Yuri says. She's had a rough go with bullying since middle school. "I think what I'm most looking forward to is moving into an apartment. My parents are going to help pay for one close to the college, and they're letting me move in a month before classes start to settle in and adjust."

_ Now she's starting to open up a little. _

"Ooh, that's exciting. Are you going to have it all to yourself, or are you getting a roommate?" I ask, secretly hoping she won't live alone- Yuri self-harms and I think living by herself would only serve to enable her bad habit. 

The thought reminds me to ask how she's been doing with that, but she replies before I can tack the question on.

"Actually, I'm... gonna ask N-Natsuki. I'm looking at a couple places that are midway between the high school and my college. If we both get part-time jobs, we can afford the half of the rent that my parents aren't paying, and she won't have to live with... _ him _anymore."

"Wow…" I remark as I process what she just shared. "That's awesome! But aren't there some... _ legal _ and _ logistical _ concerns with that?" _ Idealistically it sounds like a great idea, but is it feasible? _

"Well… N-Nat doesn't want to get him into any legal trouble. It's something I disagreed with at first, b-but it works in our favor here. We just have to get some evidence we can use to… essentially b-blackmail him into co-signing the lease. Th-this way we'll be approved for the apartment, even though she's s-still in high school. A-and we know he won't report her missing if we keep the recording."

"Yuri, that's amazing! Slightly sketchy… but amazing nonetheless." Yuri can be a bit scatterbrained at times, so the level to which she's thought this through impresses me. "Natsuki's lucky to have a friend like you. You two have gotten pretty close lately, huh?"

Yuri looks down at the floor. 

"I guess. A part of me is always w-worried that she's only nice to me because I cook for her all the time. I don't exactly have much evidence to suggest that people can enjoy my company. I n-never really had _ friends _ before the literature club, but… m-most of the time I know that's just me overthinking. I-it's… a really nice feeling having someone to walk home with every day."

_ Poor girl… _

It's a shame; Yuri can be a little difficult to have a conversation with at times, but beneath the awkwardness and random bursts of loquaciousness is a kind and caring person.

"It's good that you recognize that fear as irrational. I can't read Nat's thoughts, obviously, but looking from the outside, I think she considers you her best friend." I smile as I reassure Yuri. 

"R-really? Even more than Naru and Saki?"

I nod. "Those girls she sits with at lunch? Yeah, they kinda pick on her for her interests, so she's a lot more open with you. I don't think she's shared anything about how her dad treats her with anybody outside the club."

It seems like Yuri has mixed emotions about the idea, but a small smile breaks through. 

"Oh, damn, we're already here," I announce, signalling at the turn into the event hall parking lot. "You've got this. Everyone will just be looking at their phones anyway, so you don't have to worry about where their eyes are."

"R-right…" she replies nervously as I pull up to the back entrance, where the other graduating third-years have gathered.

"We'll be cheering for you, okay?"

Yuri forces a smile and nods as she steps out of the car. After finding a parking spot, I meet up with the other three Literature club members, Sayori, Natsuki, and MC, and we take our place in the audience. Around thirty minutes later, the soon-to-be graduates begin to file in, accompanied by a string quartet rendition of _Pomp & Circumstance_ _March No. 1._

"Is that her?!?" Sayori asks, pointing towards one of the walking students. "Or maybe there?"

Natsuki rolls her eyes. 

"They're lined up alphabetically, Sayo. She'll be closer to the middle."

"Oh, okay," Sayori replies, "I just saw the purple hair…"

"Y'know, like, one out of every fifteen people in the country has purple hair, Sayori," MC points out. "It's not that uncommon."

"Well yeah… I guess…" she admits, squinting at the distant line and counting on her fingers. In her defense, it is hard to distinguish people from this distance. With a graduating class of nearly four hundred students, the school had to rent a sizable venue to accommodate the attendees, and our seats aren't the best.

When they finish sitting down, the ceremony begins. It feels like an eternity of mediocre, cliché speeches and introductions, but eventually they actually start handing out diplomas. Quickly, the ceremony devolves into some kind of popularity contest, to see which graduate receives the most screams and cheers when their name is called. 

This is the kind of shit that gives me conflicting emotions about my own graduation next year; the ceremony that marks the end of all the petty garbage of highschool is the epitome of that very bullshit.

_ I wonder if I can make some excuse to skip it... _

Trying to avoid letting my mind wander too much, I begin cheering for anyone who doesn't seem to be getting much love from their peers, and my club members do the same. Natsuki is even going as far as to boo some of Yuri's bullies.

_ I can't believe I used to buy into this pointless school hierarchy crap. _

After some time, the alphabetical listing approaches Yuri's surname. When it's finally her turn, the vice principal announces, "Next up, graduating second in her class with high honors, Yuri Kitazawa!" The special note elicits extra applause from the parents in the audience. Combined with the literature club's fervent cheers, this gives her an above average reception despite her classmates' cold response. 

_ Take that, fuckers! The girl you all either ignored or relentlessly bullied just beat most of you at your own stupid game! _

Later in the alphabet, the first and third-place students were also announced in a similar manner, and eventually the painfully long ceremony concludes. With the other three in tow, I snake through the crowd of graduates and their families until I spot Yuri, nervously glancing around and wringing her arm with her other hand. _ Yuri, please tell me you didn't cut, even after everything I showed you… _Either way, I think the crowded environment has taken a harsh toll on her.

Before I can flag Yuri down, Sayori bowls through the throngs of people and hits her like a sack of flour, squeezing her in a tight hug. Grabbing Yuri’s hand, she waves, beckoning us to follow her from afar, and pulls the taller girl off like a tugboat, in search of a more secluded area.

"Pictures! We need pictures!" Sayori shouts. 

Natsuki scoffs.

"What, are you her mom now?"

Sayori squints back at her. "Looks like Natsuki is volunteering to go first! Stand over by that tree together. Oh, and make sure to hold up the diploma, Yuri!"

Yuri is clearly frazzled from the day's events, but she endures Sayori's quest to capture every possible combination of the five of us on camera _like a champ._

_ I hope she'll be okay at the party. _

After some chatting and shenanigans, the crowds begin to clear. Yuri says her goodbyes to everyone, still unaware she'll be seeing them in just a few minutes, and we enter my car together.

I have to ask Yuri about her cutting. Confrontation has always been a struggle for me, so I've been trying to force myself into it lately as a form of exposure. Even so, it takes all my willpower to overcome the mountain of anxiety and speak up.

"So… did you cut recently? The way you were holding your arm earlier seemed weird…"

The panic in her eyes answers my question, and after a moment she looks away shamefully, hugging her legs close to her body in the passenger seat. 

I sigh. 

"I _ told _ you to call me whenever you feel like doing it. Then I can help you through it."

Yuri curls into a tighter ball. It's as if she's trying to make herself smaller and smaller until she vanishes from existence.

"You can do better than this, Yuri. Remember the coping strategies I told you about? The rubber band snapping, and the markers and ice cubes? You have the tools to stop yourself now, okay?"

I can hear my heartbeat inside of my head as I wait for her to respond.

"I-I'm a person," she whispers, still avoiding eye contact.

"Wha-"

"I'm a person! N-n-not some equation you can just _ solve _ ." Yuri turns to face me with narrow streaks of moisture lining her cheeks. "I'm not a computer program that'll just start working p-perfectly after you fix one buggy line of code! I'm a _ human being _, and I'm trying as hard as I fucking can!"

I'm left speechless, fumbling for some kind of response. A long, uncomfortable silence settles in between us. Yuri looks away again before she continues.

"I-i-in those moments it's almost impossible to th-think of anything else. I know you're t-trying to help but… you're p-pushing too hard a-and it's overwhelming. Y-you can't just f-fix _ people _ like _ that _." She snaps her fingers. "That's not how it works. I wish it was that easy, Moni, I r-really do. 

"I-I'm sorry," I stutter after a few tense moments. I haven’t finished processing what just happened, so it's not exactly a genuine apology, but _ 'I'm sorry' _ is what you're supposed to say when you make your friend cry, right?

I don't think anything I said was particularly mean… and I don't want to coddle her too much and reinforce the behavior.

_ That's exactly how my parents talk to me when I get a bad grade at school. Maybe I'm comparing apples and oranges with these two situations though… and she does have a point. _

_ I guess it's easy to forget that every person is a brain full of thoughts just as constant and complex as my own. I can't expect her progress to be 100% positive… I'll try being less forceful moving forward. _

"M-monika? W-where are we going?"

I've been zoned out, aimlessly driving, and we're now in the far outskirts of the city. _ Shit. _

"Oh. Sorry, I was lost in thought. I'll... find somewhere to turn around."

"I'm sorry Monika. I-I asked you to drive me around and now I'm f-fighting you when you're trying to help me. I need to just keep my mouth shut."

"Knock that off, Yuri. You're okay, and it's not like you're being unreasonable. I failed to empathize, and you were right to point that out."

Yuri can be kind of melodramatic at times like this, and she's always finding ways to blame herself for perceived problems.

As I turn the car around in a parking lot, the hands-free system of my car rings, practically scaring the piss out of both of us. _ Why does it have to be so damn loud? And this horrible beeping instead of my phone's ringtone... _

I answer, and MC's voice plays over the car stereo.

"Hey Monika, you left your purse outside the event hall where we were taking pictures. I brought it home with me, so you can come pick it up at my house."

"Oh, shit, thanks!" I reply, faking surprise. I left my purse on purpose, so that I have a believable excuse to take Yuri there, where her surprise party is being held. "I'll drop by now if that's alright."

"Sure thing, see you in a few! I'll just leave the door unlocked, so come right in." With a click, the call ends. 

I almost forgot about the party after my little dramatic exchange with Yuri. Hopefully I haven't ruined the day for her, and she can still have fun.

_ No… she’ll definitely enjoy it. We got all her favorite foods and desserts, not to mention that new cooperative board game… it’ll be fine. _

After a relatively quiet ride, we arrive at MC’s home, and I manage to convince Yuri to come inside with me. I’m actually really surprised by how nice everything looks. A banner of bright, rainbow-swirled letters leaping from a black background hangs from the ceiling, and a beautiful, hand-decorated cake sits as the centerpiece of the table. I turn around to see Yuri’s reaction. I see a few stray tears, once more streaking down her face, but this time they are accompanied by a smile.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing from Monika's perspective. It's a bit hard to characterize Monika in a non-game world where she hasn't had some earth-shattering epiphany. I elected to make her slightly cynical/existential, overall well intentioned, but with tendencies to be controlling and micro-manage.


End file.
